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Drugs, Sex, and Goal Setting

Posted on 15 Dec 2015 in , , | 0 comments

by Dr. Pam Jarboe

One winter morning, I sat at a coffee shop with a dear friend. The Boston Globe rested on the table showing a picture of a couple who were arrested the day before for doing crack in a gazebo. I joked to my friend that I felt confident that my new year’s resolution could be to NOT get caught doing crack in a gazebo in the coming year. Another article detailed a story of a teacher arrested for having sex with one of her students. I suddenly felt inspired to reach for a whole new goal. I felt my energy rise as I declared aloud, “My new year’s resolution is to NOT get caught doing crack and having sex with minors in a gazebo!”  As our laughter dissolved, I shared my disappointment in myself and the goal setting process for not completing goals I set in the past.  I mean real goals- not hilarious excuses for goals.

This disappointment, I felt, led to avoidance, a common tactic I see in many of us.  Instead of looking at improving the PROCESS of setting goals, I just avoided it. This funny conversation with my friend revealed my need to reassess. The mental process of successful goal setting takes courage to declare a desire as well as patience and diligence to see it through. It takes inner self kindness on dark days and laser focus on others. It takes vulnerability to bend to life and to get help and support when necessary.  It takes discernment to say no to many things that are shiny and sexy but not our goals.  Goal setting asks much of us but it is a worthy endeavor because as we rise, the community around us rises.

The power to excel, to bring our very best to the world, lies within us. Here are some tips for your goal setting bliss:

Action Steps to 2016 Goal Setting Success

  • Make Your Goals Align with YOUR Values.
  • Think about the FEELINGS You Want to Experience.
  • Take Actions to Generate Those Feelings.
  • Break Goals into Baby Steps.
  • Put the Baby Action Steps into Your Calendar.

Dr. Pam Jarboe, a member of the IFCO Board of Directors, has more videos and in depth help with goal setting available at www.chirobloom.com/goals.


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